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6. Sunday after Pentecost, 06/30/2013
Sermon on Luke 9:51-62, by Luke Bouman
Luke 9:51 When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. 52 And he sent messengers ahead of him. On their way they entered a village of the Samaritans to make ready for him; 53 but they did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. 54 When his disciples James and John saw it, they said, "Lord, do you want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?" 55 But he turned and rebuked them. 56 Then they went on to another village. 57 As they were going along the road, someone said to him, "I will follow you wherever you go." 58 And Jesus said to him, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." 59 To another he said, "Follow me." But he said, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." 60 But Jesus said to him, "Let the dead bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God." 61 Another said, "I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home." 62 Jesus said to him, "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God."
When Hindsight isn't 20/20
John spent a good deal of his life looking backwards. He dwelled on his past, thinking both about past triumphs and past regrets. When he was feeling good about himself, it was often a time that he remembered the wonderful things that had happened to him. He would think about the time when the prettiest girl on campus went out on a date with him in college, or the time when he had a game winning hit in baseball. When he wasn't feeling as positive about himself, it was often a time when he thought about the things that he regretted. Truth be told, though his life was a balance of triumphs and regrets, it was the regrets that dominated his thoughts, and consequently, for the most part, he was unhappy with his life, both past and present. Nights were almost an obsession for John. He would sit awake and relive, over and over, those critical moments of failure in his life: when he lost his job, when he missed an important opportunity, when a relationship failed. There were many such things to think about. He would go over in his mind all of the things he could have done, he should have done differently. He would imagine how life would have turned out if he had made the right choice. He would imagine a life full only of triumph, with no regrets.
Of course this strategy didn't work very practically for John in the present. Rather than living his life with the challenges of each day before him; rather than greeting each new day with enthusiasm for its joys and sorrows, and especially for the people he would encounter along the way, he would instead begin with the bitter taste of failures past still lingering in his mind. Thus begun, the day would almost always turn out to be full of even more regrets. The balance of his past became a fading memory as his life, lived in that past, became an endless series of present regrets. Little wonder John was depressed. All of his joy was a distant memory, hardly ever visited anymore. He seemed to wander aimlessly. Each day began and ended without purpose or meaning. John was lost, in a very real sense, in his past.
Whether in the course of our individual lives, or as part of the institutions we create, we are very much in danger of falling into the same trap when we look backwards instead of forwards. Companies that obsess about last quarter's profits rather than looking ahead to new product lines and serving the needs of future customers will eventually go broke. An individual that drives a car, rides a bicycle, or even walks while looking backward will eventually run into trouble. Even our congregations, if they fail to keep their heads up for opportunities to live out the Gospel for the sake of others will eventually find themselves wondering why no one comes anymore.
The old saying is that "hindsight is 20/20" meaning that if you look back you will see clearly what has happened to you. This is helpful, to a point. We benefit from an occasional backward glance so that we can learn and make better decisions moving forward. But in our lives of faith, looking backward only leads to a faith that sees little of God and more of ourselves, either in pride or regret. When we look back at triumphs, we are tempted to think to ourselves, "I did that," rather than to say, "Look what God did through me." When we look back in regret we are tempted to say, "How could I have been so foolish," rather than to say, "God has forgiven me." In either case, it is our own sinfulness that gets us stuck. It is a problem common to all of us at one point or another in our lives.
When we see words like Jesus', words that talk about "fitness for the Kingdom of God", we are tempted to look at them as if they are instructions. If we just do what they tell us then we will be fit for the God's reign. Of course this is nonsense. There is nothing we can do to fit ourselves for the coming/emerging reign of God. God does this work through Jesus' life, death and resurrection. This passage is less about fitness than it is about family. It is less about gaining God's favor than it is about reflecting God's action and life in our own.
Jesus doesn't look back. Jesus has his face (and gaze) set toward Jerusalem. His "reign" is not going to be one of power and glory but one of sacrifice and finally death and resurrection. But the forgiveness and life that Jesus' initiates for all of us tells us something about God's way and God's family. God's way moves forward toward new life rather than looking backward for self justification or regret. Our way of identifying ourselves, family or past achievement, even negative self identification, sin, no longer have meaning in God's reign. We become God's own children through baptism. God's children are forgiven and thus forgiving. God's children are won through sacrifice and therefore freely sacrifice and give for others. God's children do not fear death but see beyond it. God has fit us to be part of God's new reality. Looking backwards is no longer necessary, even counter to where God's new life calls us. Just as the ancient farmer who plows looking backward is rewarded with bent rows and poor harvest, so our lives, looking backward, result in the same. God has enabled us to live anew. God's love has fit us for the new and coming reign. It is time to live like it.
June knew John was having trouble with his backwards life. She had known him as a neighbor, friend, and fellow church member for years. But when she saw him sitting on his front steps one day while she was out walking her dog, she was suddenly moved to walk up and sit with him.
"What's up?" she asked.
John told her his most recent story. It included a lot of backwards looking. June paused thoughtfully before continuing. "John, you have a lawnmower, don't you?" He nodded, yes. "What would happen if you mowed looking backwards and pushing forwards?" John smiled as June continued. "You might finish the lawn and have something uneven, or else you end up cutting lots of spots twice in order to get them all. It makes no sense to cut grass that way and it makes no sense to live life that way either. Every week we hear about the wonderful gift of God's forgiveness. What has happened in your life, those things you regret, don't matter to God and they don't need to matter to you. Live your life as the forgiven child of God you already are. It doesn't mean you won't make mistakes. We all do that. It does mean you can learn and grow from them and live looking forward."
June and John talked a long while about what that all might mean, but at the end of the conversation John was still not sure he could do it. June and John prayed together. After that, she continued her walk and John started to ponder some more. The words that kept coming back to him were that he was a forgiven child of God, that he didn't need to look backward. It was to those he began to cling. It was hard work not living backwards. He still did it. But in the midst of the worst of times, he continued to cling to God's words of promise, and when he did, he started looking forward. There, in front of him, were possibilities he never considered. There, in front of him, were people he could love and serve. There, in front of him, hard as it was to face, was death and new life, every day the same. That was the key. He could face the future, God's promised future, one day at a time. John could wake each day to the idea that this day would include God's love and forgiveness and move forward, and he began, slowly, haltingly, to do just that.